Sunshine and flowers: That's how I imagined my motherhood experience. I envisioned a daughter who embodied all the best parts of me. We’d wear matching clothes and drive my husband nuts with our cuteness. And then at 19 weeks, I saw a penis on the screen. Things have never really been the same since.

EDITOR'S PICK
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Instead of a daughter, I got a son who looks nothing like me and runs around screaming 90 percent of the time. So rather than sunshine and flowers, I got tornadoes and hailstorms. But it happens to the best of us. If you’re human, your idea of what motherhood looks like is going to change. If you’re wild and free, you might end up with a reserved rule-follower. Parenting is full of surprises. Some of them are good, and others frankly suck. All we can do is laugh (or cry) together.

1. Expectation: You’re going to cloth diaper and save the environment.

This will be awesome.

Reality: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

2. Expectation: You’re going to be the safest parent ever.

They'll NEVER hurt themselves on your watch.

Reality: LOL OOPS

3. Expectation: I’ll just sleep when the baby sleeps.

How hard is that?

Reality: WTF is sleep?

4. Expectation: My kid and I are going to bathe all the time.

Daily, even.

Reality: It’s… fine to be filthy. It is.

5. Expectation: Breastfeeding will be a breeze.

It's so natural!

Reality: Latch letdown.

6. Expectation: Only organic food for my bundle of joy!

And everything homemade and meal-prepped, of course.

Reality: My kid just ate whatever fell on the floor? Eh... whatever. It’ll boost their immune system.

7. Expectation: I don’t need any help. I’ve read the books.

I’ve got this!

Reality: Someone get me a babysitter!

8. Expectation: Breaks away from my kid will be AWESOME.

I can go do everything I did before I got pregnant! CAN'T WAIT.

Reality: You miss them like crazy.

9. Expectation: Nightly bedtime stories.

I love reading and plan to impart this important value.

Reality: Netflix

10. Expectation: You’ll never have another kid.

One is quite enough, thankyouverymuch.

Reality: Baby fever.

is a diversity content specialist who produces materials relating to mental and physical health, sociology, and parenting. Her work can be seen on several national platforms. Check her out on and .

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